Welcome Back. We missed you. Your cousin Winter has overstayed his welcome and wouldn’t stop crying.  My children and I are pleased to see him go. Hopefully now we can enjoy a visit to the playground without wet puddles on the bottom of the swings, or slippery sheets of water on the slides.

You arrived right on time on the first of September.  We sure were glad to see you.  We played on our bikes outside in the warm sunshine and we were very, very happy.  In fact, so were all the people that day.  Spring, you make humans want to smile more.

We’ve got so many great things planned for your visit this year Spring. We’ll take our baby boy for his first trip to the local farm-yard and meet all the new baby animals.   We’ll go to the park and take pictures of the kids’ cheeky faces peeping through the daffodils. One day when you’re feeling a little windy we’ll fly a kite. We’ll start to wear shorts and skirts, and soon we’ll have to get our sun-hats back out too.

I know there’ll be some days when you need to let your tears water the new flower buds, but as long as you show your sunny side to us nice and often as well, we’ll all have a grand time.

I know you weren’t away for any longer than you usually are, but sometimes it really did feel like you’d never come back.

 Spring you are new beginnings, new hope and new adventures.

We’re so pleased you’re home.

x

Sunday: Family night at the movies
Forget going out — it’s time to stay inside and snuggle together on the sofa as a family. But first, visit the local DVD store, or trawl through the family collection to find Dad’s favourite movie. Think outside the square for inspiration — maybe a cult classic like The Princess Bride or something with plenty of action like The Tale of Despereaux. Gather a feast of snacks and pull up a bean bag, then settle in for the evening.

Monday: DIY rescue squad
Mum’s been nagging for months, so now it’s time to call in reinforcements. Can you fix it? Yes, you can! Every dad has a to-do list of odd jobs around the house, and yet somehow there never seems to be enough time to get them done.  There’s nothing quite like teamwork to take the pressure off  Dad, so order “All hands on deck!” and you’ll cut through that list in no time. Grab a hammer and get started — and why not see if you can recruit Mum to provide refreshments?

Tuesday: Manly makeover time
Dad’s probably in need of new threads, so a family shopping trip is in order, with the focus squarely on Dad. Go beyond the ubiquitous socks and boxer shorts, beyond even the  stock-standard shirt that Dad gets every Father’s Day, for a real style makeover. Whether he’s a suit-and-tie man or a jeans-and-tee man, it’s a great excuse to update his look.

Wednesday: All-day breakfast
Who said breakfast has to be a morning meal? Breakfast can last all day — it can even be bacon for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Put in your order, we’re here to serve. We’ve put together some great Father’s Day breakfast ideas to inspire you (and the kids!).

Thursday: Hit the road, Jack
Dad can drive, but you’re navigating on this mystery road trip. Schedule in meals, entertainment, and visits to local points of interest, or pack a picnic and stop somewhere spontaneous for an outdoor feast. For a real touch of luxury, organise for Dad to test drive something smooth and classy like the luxurious BMW 320d featured in the flybuys communities car reviews.

Friday: Bend it like Beckham
Dads like watching sports, but this isn’t about the televised kind — it’s time to challenge the neighbours/cousins/family/friends to a football match, a game of cricket, or a spot of touch rugby.  If the weather doesn’t lend itself to outdoor pursuits, head to the local swimming pool for some indoor activity, or check out indoor sports options in your area, as many places hire out courts on an hourly basis. Or just clear the dining table and have an old-fashioned arm-wrestling competition!

Saturday: Story time
Do you remember the time Mum was away and Dad promised to cook something nutritious — then took you out for pizza and made you promise not to tell Mum? Today is the day it all comes out! Gather together for stories around the campfire… Or dinner table. It’s also a day when “Dad jokes” are not only tolerated, but laughed at with genuine enthusiasm — but for a limited time only, so make the most of it!

For more ideas on ways to treat Dad, including recipes for a fabulous Father’s Day Feast, go to www.ohbaby.co.nz.

I’ve long believed that top of the list of extra-curricular activities for all children should be swimming lessons.  Ballet, soccer, guitar lessons are all well and good, but swimming to put it bluntly, is life or death.

We jumped in at the deep end with our first child, enrolling her in her first lessons at just five months old.  To be honest, at that age, you’re not paying for technical expertise, but more for the discipline of taking her to weekly lessons and teaching her that swimming is fun.   Weekday classes are packed full of mums and bubs.  Weekend classes tend to be Dad’s duty.  If nothing else, these parent and child lessons are a great bonding exercise for dads and their babies.

We weren’t as dedicated to these baby lessons with our second child.  But we did take him regularly to the pools and the beach just for fun and to build familiarity with the water.  He’s now three and loving his weekly swimming lessons.

If you’re about to start swimming lessons with your kids here are a few tips I’ve learned the hard way:

1. Forget the don’t swim after you eat rule! A hungry child is a fractious child, and there are few worse places for a temper tantrum than at swimming lessons.  Take a snack-box to make sure you have food on hand both before and after the lesson.

2. After school and weekend lessons can be crazy busy.  Mid-week day time classes are great if you’re not working.  Or if you can juggle your weekends and book a class around the middle of your Saturday then you’ll save the hassle of packed car-parks and changing rooms.

3. Check out the changing facilities. Family rooms are great.  Changing tables can also be a bonus with littlies.

4. Be prepared for tears.  The first two or three times in the pool, even with mum or dad, can be a little frightening.  My three year old cried non-stop for his first lesson, but on the advice of the swim teacher, I held him tight to assure him he was safe and we stayed in the water. The next week he was all smiles.

5. Keep lessons to lessons, and play-time for play-time.    When we only had one child doing swimming lessons this wasn’t such a big deal. She’d have her lesson and then either her dad or I would get in the next-door wave-pool for half an hour of fun.  But with a toddler in tow, this can be more trouble than it’s worth.  We’ve now changed our swim school to a pool that is dedicated solely to lessons.  We can easily have a family trip to the wave-pool and hydroslide some other time.

Formal lessons are expensive. I agree it can be a real strain on a family’s finances, particularly if you have more than one child.  But to my mind it’s a necessity not an extravagance.  I only wish there was more funding available to make sure every child has equal opportunity to learn how to swim.

Water Safety New Zealand says half of all 10 year olds can’t swim 25 metres, and a quarter of them can’t keep afloat.  That staggers me.  I can’t understand why that’s allowed in a country with such abundant access to water. It’s what makes growing up as a kiwi kids so special. It shouldn’t be what makes growing up as a kiwi kid so dangerous.

For more information go to http://www.watersafety.org.nz/learn-to-swim-advice

Most children become “dry” in the day time before they achieve night time control. Being dry at night happens at different ages; up to 1 in 10 children may still wet the bed at 5 years old.

Some of the signs that children are ready to move out of nappies:
• your toddler may start to notice they have a wet or dirty nappy – they become uncomfortable and want you to change them as soon as they are wet or dirty.
• they know that they are ‘going’, you might notice them momentarily stop what they are doing, before moving on with their play. If not wearing pants, they show interest in what happens when they wee.
• they know ahead of when they need to ‘go’ – they tell you they need to go to the toilet and can hold on long enough to get to there.
• they remain dry and clean for longer between nappy changes and they may wake up dry after a day time sleep .

How to start
If your child is ready to learn to use the toilet, summer is a great time to start, the weather is warmer and there are fewer layers to remove. Children don’t always have much warning that they need to ‘go’ at first, so it’s a good idea to avoid dungarees, body suits, awkward buttons, zips and anything else that may be difficult to remove quickly.

You can help your child transition from nappies to using the potty/toilet by:
• allowing them to become familiar with the potty or toilet.
• using words to explain the use of the toilet (i.e. ‘wee’, ‘poo’)
• letting your child play with flushing the toilet. Ensure you never leave your child unattended in the bathroom.
• asking your child to let you know when their nappy is wet
• children learn by copying others, so it’s a good idea to let your child watch you go to the toilet and explain what you are doing.
• using trainer pants or special underwear
• providing something for your child to use to stand on or step on makes it easier to get up to the toilet. A smaller seat may also help so they don’t feel like they are ‘falling in’.
• taking them to the toilet or potty at regular times, e.g. straight after eating, before bath and bed times.
• bringing the potty to where they are playing, so they don’t feel that they are missing out on any action by stopping to use the potty.
• encouraging your child with praise for sitting on the potty or toilet. Hugs, claps, a star chart or small treat can help to show your child you are pleased with them.
• teaching your child how to wash their hands each time they use the potty or toilet.
• you might like to consider carrying an extra set of clothes when out or on extended car trips just in case of accidents.
If your child is ready, they may become reliably dry within 2 or 3 weeks. If they are not quite ready it will take longer and may become frustrating for everyone. If you or your child is becoming distressed by the process, you might like to consider putting them back in nappies.

Accidents
Remember that this process does not happen overnight, it is important to be prepared for accidents and deal with them calmly, try not to growl or scold. If their underwear or training pants are wet or dirty remember they need to be changed as soon as possible.

Some children may start soiling themselves if something new is happening in the household e.g. a new baby. This is very common and with consistent encouragement and support your child will come right in time.

If your child does begin soiling it might help to:
• change them calmly and try not to growl or punish them.
• reminding them to go to the toilet is a good idea. Sometimes young children become so engrossed in what they are doing they leave it too late to get to the toilet.
• using rewards such as their own special patterned toilet paper, a star chart or small treat may help encourage them to use the toilet
• your child may need to go back into nappies until they are ready, especially if the soiling is very upsetting to you or them.

All children achieve control in their own time. It’s important to remember to be patient and encouraging and accept that accidents will happen at first.

For further advice or support when your child is learning to use the toilet, you can talk to your Plunket Nurse or call PlunketLine 0800 933 922 24 hours 7 days or go to www.plunket.org.nz

To my mind, it’s a no brainer. School is a place for learning and playing – it is not a catwalk.  There’s plenty of time outside the hours of 8am-3pm weekdays for her to express her inner Trelise. If she doesn’t have the option of choosing what to wear, then one more stress will be removed from an already hectic morning of getting three kids fed, clothed and out the door on time.

The other advantage I see is the sense of pride and ownership a uniform helps instil in a child and community.

But as I’ve learnt, while doing a little more research on this thorny issue, for every parent like me desperate for a dress-code, there’s another equally as adamant no child of theirs will be forced into such a utilitarian regiment.

I had a quick chat to my daughter’s principal and discovered a new appreciation for the ‘con’ camp. During his tenure at a previous school, a uniform was introduced and there were a number of reasons it worked there.  For instance:

• A small majority of support among parents (60-40, but a majority nonetheless)
• Label snobbery (particularly among Year 5 girls)
• A transient population (a uniform helped a child starting mid-year fit in)

Now, at my daughter’s school these arguments just don’t hold true.

A few years before my daughter turned five, the local community was surveyed on whether – the primary school should introduce a uniform.  It was a clear-cut tie – a 50-50 split of those for and those against.  The children at our school are in his words somewhat “less sophisticated.”  So there’s less of a problem with bullying over clothes and labels. Our school’s population is also much more stable – nearly 90% of Year 6 pupils had started the school in Year 1.

Every time the uniform debate rears its head there’s also the ‘cost’ argument.   Just this week the NZ Herald reported in the last year $225,000 was paid out to nearly 1000 applicants who needed government help to pay for school uniforms. That’s a big leap on ten years ago, when 300 applicants received $53,000 for the same reason. However, also this week I was interested to read that the cost of a school uniform in the UK has halved in the last six years, primarily because of increased competition sales in supermarkets.

And what of the legal question? Under the Human Rights Act we are all guaranteed the freedom of expression.  I’m not a lawyer, but I’d be interested to know if a case against school’s enforcement of a uniform could be challenged through the courts.

It’s a little like trying on a new dress.   I’ve put the ‘con’ argument on for size – but it’s still a little scratchy and ill-fitting.  The next time I see frazzled looking mum at the school-gate, dropping off their angel in a summer-frock, woollen tights and Sunday-best shoes – I’ll know I’ve found a comrade in arms. One more convert to the pro-uniform cause!

First of all: don’t panic. Making a cake will earn you big brownie points with everyone – and this one is REAL EASY. There’s no cooking, if you are able to melt some butter you can do this. The other great thing about this cake is you can add any type of biscuits or lollies to suit to customise it for the birthday recipient.

So give it a go, you don’t even need a birthday as an excuse and it’s a great recipe for the kids to help choose the ingredients and then help with the mixing.

This makes one cake serving 6-8.

You will need:

• 18 Arnott’s Choc Ripple biscuits or biscuit of your choice
• 8 & 1/4 cup Cookies & Cream Ice-cream or your choice
• 3 & 1/4 cup Lolly snakes or other type of favourite lollies
• 1/2 cup Butter

Here’s what you do:

1. Bring Ice-cream out of freezer for at least 20 minutes or until softened
2. Crush biscuits into fine chunks
3. Melt butter
4. Mix melted butter with crushed biscuits into a bowl
5. Press mixture into a 25cm spring tin and flatten with the back of a spoon
6. Place in freezer for 20 minutes
7. Chop 200g of lolly snakes into 1cm chunks and mix with ice-cream
8. Spoon mixture on top of biscuit base and cover with cling wrap
9. Freeze for at least 4 hours
10. When arranging candles place remaining snakes on the top for decoration

Ok – so there may be a little sugar overload, however, we don’t suggest this becomes a staple part of your diet just for those special occasions.

For more information go to http://www.diyfather.com

All of a sudden it dawns on you. 17 and a half hours of squealing, giggling and possibly even tears lie ahead.

Here are my tips for how to host a Sleepover Party, that actually involves sleep.

Be A Personal Trainer: Wear them Out.   In our case we had the bonus of a school disco the night before.

Be A Counsellor: It will happen –someone will get accidentally hit, or left-out or made fun of.  Be prepared for tears.

Be The WaterBoy: Give everyone who wants it a small glass of water or milk before bed otherwise you’ll be doing the drinks run all night long.  But not too much, you don’t want to encourage inconvenient toilet trips past midnight.
Be The Dictator: If there are arguments brewing over who’s sleeping in which bed, step in and make a ruling.

Be The Cool Parents: Get Beiber Fever if that’s what it takes, but show that you’re there for a good time too.

Be The Game Show Host: Offer a prize for the kid who falls asleep first.

Be The Rule Breaker: If you have the luxury of knowing you don’t have to go to work for ten hours the next day, then make a real night of it. Wake the kids’ up for a proper midnight snack!  It’s the kind of stuff childhood memories are made of.

Be The Kiddie Whisperer: When it really is time for sleep, go into the room and sit there quietly in the dark.  You’ll be surprised how the conversation shuts up when a grown-up is in the room.

Follow most of these rules, and you too can survive the mass sleepover.  This morning we woke up to seven happy faces eager for a big batch of pancakes, and in the middle of it all, was one rather tired, but very happy birthday girl, pleased as punch with her folks for letting her have her mates over.

But when a child names his or her toy, there’s no such deliberation.  They think of a word and it sticks – regardless of meaning.

When my daughter was about two and a half she got a new doll, which she proceeded to name “Awesome.”  My three-year-old son has a favourite teddy  “Fairy-Wand.”  It’s funny how easily these oddly named friends became a part of the family.

I was reading recently of a family where each of the children was given a chicken to name.  “Surfer chicken” I thought had a particular ring to it.

My colleague’s children have a doll called “Cauliflower.” Sometimes shortened to “Colly” or “Flower.”  And yet despite their apparent fondness for the name, they still turn their noses up when presented with the vegetable on a plate.

You’ve got to love the innocence of it.  Maybe it’s simply the way a word sounds that makes a child think it’s worthy of bestowing on a beloved toy or pet.

Imagine if we all did that, and picked a name purely for the sound of it.  I’d like to introduce you to my children Flibbertigibbet and HodgePodge.

Essentially bubble baths, bath salts, body washes and shower gels claim to do at least one of the following:
 Relax, calm and soothe tired and aching muscles
 Moisturise dry skin
 Exfoliate and rejuvenate tired and dull-looking skin
 Revitalise, refresh and invigorate
 Remove the germs that create body odour using antibacterial properties.

There is a huge range of wonderful and delicious sounding ingredients, extracts, oils and fragrances used in bath and body products.

Some are relaxing, like sea minerals, calendula, clary sage, lavender, ylang ylang and frangipani.

Others are chosen for their moisturising and nourishing effect like shea butter, cocoa butter, sunflower seed oil, cashmere extract, jojoba oil, vanilla, mango, avocado, papaya and almond oil.

Some ingredients have wonderful exfoliant properties like apricot seeds, kiwifruit extract and jojoba beads. Olive extract, green tea, lime and cucumber can help to rejuvenate dull skin.

Revitalising ingredients include refreshing grapefruit, orange and citrus. Tea tree, rosemary, thyme and marigold all have antibacterial properties.

Signs of dry skin are tightness (especially after bathing or showering), flakiness and a dull look. If this sounds like you look for a moisturising product formulated for dry skin. If itchiness is an issue you may want to choose a product formulated for sensitive skin.

There are some common terms that you may see on packaging.
 pH balanced – pH is a measure of acidity or alkalinity. ‘pH balanced’ products have a pH between the skin (5 to 6) and pure water (7) and are therefore less likely to cause drying and irritation.
 Soap free – the product uses foaming and cleansing agents other than soap.  Soap products are typically alkaline, with a pH of 9 to 10, and can cause dryness.  Sodium laureth sulfate, cocamidopropyl betaine and sodium cocoyl sarcosinate are commonly used in mild soap-free products to produce a rich creamy lather, cleanse effectively and leave skin feeling soft and moisturised.
 Dermatologist tested – as it suggests, the product has been tested in laboratories supervised by dermatologists (skin specialists) for indications of irritation.
 Dermatologically tested – any product that has been observed after being applied to the skin.

Whatever product you choose, luxuriating in a nice hot bath or shower can change your whole perspective on life and be a good pick-me-up…plus you’ll smell wonderful too!

Hours after the birth of our first child I remember lying in bed, staring in awe at this little fragile creature swaddled in her bassinette and feeling such overwhelming gratitude that my husband and I had been given this gift.  

So, on the eve of her seventh birthday, I’ve been thinking of seven gifts I hope we’ve given her in return.

1. Tolerance – to appreciate diversity.   So much of the hatred in this world stems from ignorance. If we understood each other a little more then we’d learn to like each other a little more too. I hope we’re growing a daughter who cherishes the fact that our differences are what makes us special.  
2. Imagination – to be bold in thought.    Whatever she chooses to do with her life I hope she does it with creative ideas.   Imagination is the tool with which she will dream big dreams.
3. Courage – to be brave in spirit and body.   Fearlessness in a three year old means being brave enough to sit at the top of the big slide and launch yourself down.  In a few years it might be a bungy jump. I want her to take risks and be rewarded for it.
4. Gratitude – to be grateful for what she has.    In this consumer driven world this is a tough one for parents to instil.    There’ve been a few temper tantrums along the way, but I hope she’s getting the lesson that walking into a shop doesn’t automatically entitle her to a treat.   She needs to be thankful for the material possessions she already has before being rewarded with more.
5. Self-Belief  - to be proud and independent.    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again “she’s not short on personality my girl” and long may she stay that way. A girl who knows her own mind and is not easily led by others will grow into a young woman able to make decisions that protect her own safety and principles.
6. Perseverence – to understand the best rewards are those worked hard for.  The ‘stickability’ factor is a hard one to instil when there are so many temptations.  I’ll encourage her to try her hand at a variety of activities, but she needs to learn the discipline that comes with starting something and seeing it through to the end.  
7. Humour – to know that laughter is a cure for all ills.   For with laughter comes optimism, and with optimism springs hope.

Sadly these are not gifts we can go to the shopping mall and purchase in the ‘values’ aisle. They won’t be wrapped in fancy paper and tied up with a bow.  But they’re gifts I hope one day she’ll thank me for.

Perhaps I’ll put the list aside and give it to her for her 18^th birthday.

Right now I’m off to wrap a Jessie Doll.    She’s only seven after all, and I know that when she’s ripping into her presents tomorrow, and I see her smiling face, I’ll be the one receiving the best gift after all.